7 questions in heaven with Celia Inside, pt. 2

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

ci 7 questions 2

My girl Jessy aka Celia Inside aka total babe pal from NYC (and my first real-life internet friend) has some new tunes on the way AND has just released a really fun cover of Drake’s “Hotline Bling” produced by Kid Jimi. Listen above to her buttery, pretty, is-this-B-on-the-radio-yet voice and read about what she’s been up to while recording her new r&b album “Overtime” coming out next year!!!

CELIA INSIDE FB, TWITTER, TUMBLR

How would you describe your new album “Overtime”?

It’s soulful, cool, sometimes playful + fun, a little edgy… and lighter than my previous work in a wonderful and necessary way, haha. The music has definitely shifted more into hip-hop and R&B territory — that’s where I feel most natural. It’s still full of harmonies and left turns, though. Overall, I think it shows some very different sides of me as a person and artist. It’s hot!

Is “Overtime” a departure from your last Celia Inside release?

It is in that it’s less emotionally heavy and more beat-driven. It’s less wanna-be alt-rock music, lol. I was really married to the idea of making indie rock music on my first EP, Remodel…. That had a lot to do with my environment and the people around me back when I was living in College Town, USA. I think I was trying to appeal to a scene more than honoring my own musical inclinations. Some really cool stuff came out of that creative time and I’ll always love Remodel, but the music I’m making now is the most exciting for me yet. And I think it’s the most exciting, period! These songs are coming out so nice!

What was the inspo?

The inspiration for the music is a big mix of my life here in NYC and the people who fill it every day; working + living in different parts of the city and experiencing the different cultures, clash of cultures and gentrification all of that entails; rediscovering my love for hip-hop and also parts of myself that kind of got buried during my college+ years… a lot of stuff. Figuring out what kind of grown up I can and want to be! (A #crazysexycool one, obvi)

What has changed since your last EP “Remodel”?

Oh, what *hasn’t* changed!? Haha, almost two years ago, I decided to up & move to New York — it seemed to be where I needed to go — and my life has changed a ton. I’ve made friends, found work I can appreciate doing, moved around, fell in love with someone amazing!…. I’ve learned and experienced so much in such a short time.

All of these things affect the music and how I approach all things Celia Inside. Then, I’m more inspired, motivated, and happy than ever and can’t wait to release and share more as I move forward — this time, with a real plan, and a lot more experience + vision.

Are there any challenges to recording in NYC like noise or 5 roommates?

Omg, yes. Both of those things, actually — haha. I literally lived with five roommates for a little while! It wasn’t as ridiculous as I thought it might be, though (and it made for some fun + diverse parties). Yeah, noise is always a challenge here but I do my best with what I have and there are ways to work around it.

celia inside

 

Are you playing any shows for this release?

That’s the goal, but I’m more focused on recording and building up my online presence right now. I’ve literally met all of my collaborators via the internet! And my next major release will be an EP that won’t be out for a little while. Lots of singles/covers here & there first.

I’m still figuring out what kind of live performance would suit me and these songs best. It’s exciting to enter this new realm of possibilities, though, and check out different kinds of equipment, which is totally new to me. I want to make sure my singing/harmonies are a strong component of my life set along with the beats to these songs.

Anything else interesting about the new tunes?

This is my C.I. era — I rap, I sing, I make beats, I produce; I’m doing a lot of things I used to just experiment with but never really gave my full focus (and confidence) to. I’m making music for myself now and the music reflects that. I’m a better producer now than ever and only getting better. In the words of Fiona Apple, “here’s coming a better version of me!…”

I couldn’t stop watching these celebrity documentaries

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

These Speidi and Amanda Bynes documentaries will change the way you think about celebrity

If you were obsessively reading Perez Hilton circa 2007 until he went soft (aka just became a different brand of ginormous asshole), these movies were MADE for you.

Will Rebein, the creator of these addicting as fuck documentaries, repurposed video from tabloids (lots of TMZ), tv shows and interviews to recreate a different story about a few of our favorite tabloid celebs. I very literally could. not. stop. watching.

His two documentaries focus on Speidi and Amanda Bynes. In Speidi, you get to watch the infamous couple spiral out of control from their days on The Hills to body dysmorphic disorder-induced plastic surgery to spending their fortune on MAGIC CRYSTALS. The body dysmorphia is really interesting to watch because you see Heidi turn into a numb person, probably caused by a combination of becoming famous too fast, having a terribly manipulative boyfriend and reading countless comments about her “horse face.”

What’s even more fascinating is that Speidi details a weird time in pop culture when celebrities were controlled WAY more by the media before social networks like Twitter or Facebook were the number one way for famous people to communicate with the outside world. Before then, it was allllll through paparazzi videos, tabloid articles and statements made to the press instead of pressing “send” on your smart phone. So worth it to watch.

Amanda Bynes in “I’m Not Crazy”

I’m Not Crazy shows you how Amanda went from cute child comedy prodigy and “good girl” Hollywood actress to a tabloid obsession struggling with, at the time, undiagnosed mental illness. Amanda later reported on Twitter:

Learning that Amanda Bynes is living with bipolar disorder and manic depression really makes you pause and think about what it means to make fun of any celeb who is “acting crazy!” in the press.

By far the worst thing I saw in I’m Not Crazy is a paparazzo relentlessly touching Amanda and pulling down her hood so he could get a picture of her. That scene makes you feel SO terrible, watching a paparazzo violate a mentally ill person’s personal space like that. And all to make a buck so shithole magazines can sell stories about mentally ill rich women to equally shithole humans so they can make fun of them. Gross AF.

rude
rude

Once dubbed the “3 Bimbos of the Apocalypse,” Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton all make an appearance in I’m Not Crazy. Britney’s especially hits you hard as a viewer (or just me because I’m a huge, forever Britney fan) because she too suffers from mental illness. It’s really sad to see how she was treated by paparazzi, but what’s even SADDER is that at times the paparazzi seemed like Britney’s only real friends.

Anyways the docs are sad, incredibly poignant and provide a lot of commentary on the power the media and society have over famous people. Seriously worth the watch if you are obsessed with dissecting pop culture, fame, society and even mental illness.

Let me know if you watch them and what you thought because I’d love to hear how you felt about them at @ktbcolors on Twitter, on Facebook here or in the comments section.

 

The actual best deodorant ever

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

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I am a sweaty person.

Not like, dripping-from-my-forearm-in-an-air-conditioned-room kind of sweaty, but more like sitting-on-the-couch-in-a-moderately-warm-living-room-armpit-sweaty kind of way. It’s annoying as fuck.

Trying to find a deodorant that works–and one that is not also an anti-perspirant–has been impossible. Those deodorants, in my experience, are made for people who don’t sweat much at all and enjoy the routine wallet masochism of buying useless products. I have never smelled worse in my life than when I tried Tom’s deodorant. I even talked to some actual, real-life hippies about the stuff, and even they were like “Oh fuck no, Tom’s makes you smell worse.” And it really does–more so than if you had put nothing on at all.

So in my sad search for a deodorant that isn’t a complete waste of time and money, I’ve just been using the regular anti-perspirant that’s filled with aluminum. (I’m not an organic-everything purist, but some studies over the years have linked to Alzheimers and traces in breast cancer. Although they’re not conclusive, it’s still something I consider when looking at shit that’s going on my body.)

Until now.

Since gaining a nice boyfriend in the past two years–and seeing him leave behind important things like a toothbrush, a pair of socks and (fuck yes!) extra snacks–I’ve discovered a huge beauty secret that men have been hoarding for millenia: Old Spice deodorant.

I decided to try out his Old Spice because I was feeling very gender fluid and carefree that day. I slapped it on and was amazed hours later when I wasn’t sweating profusely or smelling like I just took a bath in the juice of a big, ripe onion. Now, nearly two weeks later, I still am not smelling gross and am defintely feeling like this deodorant works great. I’m hypothesizing that it might be the alcohol-based formula that is the pop star ingredient here, as it’s not found in many other deodorants.

One big question I had after my great discovery in stealing my boyfriend’s shit: why don’t they make an Old Spice for women? Are they afraid we will all turn into the literal Old Spice, the secret 6th member of the Spice Girls who was cut right before recording their debut album?

Underground press photo of Old Spice, the forgotten Spice Girl
Underground press photo of Old Spice, the forgotten Spice Girl

 I was considering writing them and asking why they didn’t have a girl version because it’s been working for me so well. And then 2015 hit me and was like, girl wear whatever the fuck you want, you don’t need a gendered version that costs 36% more and doesn’t even work! 

It would be great to see the Old Spice brand move towards a more gender-neutral advertising campaign since their product is the best deodorant I’ve ever used. After all, gender is kind of boring and whatever conglomerate makes Old Spice could really cut down on costs having to make a bunch of shitty products for the opposite sex when they could just focus on one great deodorant for everyone. Until then, Imma keep stealing my boyfriend’s Old Spice and appropriating this awesome man deodorant/scent for myself. I urge all self-proclaimed sweaty bitches to do the same!

It's ours now.
It’s ours now.

So I’m trying to win a free vacation

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

beach

I’ve been trying to win a vacation online since January 2015.

Up until now, I’ve just gotten some promotional, newsletter-y emails at my win-a-vacation specific gmail account. They are normally from Sandals.com, the Travel Channel and wherever else I’ve signed up. Other than that, I’ve been virtually unbothered and totally out of luck.

Until today.

My phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. Because I’m on the prowl for a new job, I thought the call was from a place I had recently interviewed and my heart jumped. Here it is! My new life!

“Congratulations!!!” said the person on the other end of the line.

I thought it was a weird way for a place to tell me I got the job, but it’s 2015 and everyone is losing their minds so fucking hard, so I shrugged it off. That’s so festive! And amazing for me! But sadly, no. It wasn’t them.

The phone call was actually an automated woman that went on to tell me free cruise tickets were waiting for me (!!!) and all I had to do was answer a few simple questions.

The questions went as follows:

“Do you have any pain in your joints or muscles? Press 2 for yes, 3 for no.” uhhhh sorta but I don’t want them to know that. I pressed 3.

“If I told you there were medical breakthroughs in non-habit forming, pain relieving topical creams, would you be interested? Press 2 for yes, 3 for no.” I pressed 3, but in hindsight I should have pressed 2.

Then they asked me if I had health insurance and something else I forgot.

I was hoping for more questions about topical creams and to hear about other sketchy medical breakthroughs that might change my life in the worst way possible if I ever used them. But this automated message had no time to fuck around.

“For two free tickets sending YOU and a guest on a cruise in the Bahamas, press 1 after this message, and a travel coordinator will call you in the next 24-48 hours. “ Wow, that was fast! I thought.  Bahamas here we come!! My boyfriend is gonna FLIP! 

However, seconds later my hopes to finally win a free vacation were dashed, just like that time in 2006 I realized “doing fashion in Spain” wasn’t a viable career.

The automated message HUNG. UP. before I had a chance to alert the eager travel coordinator that I wanted my two free tickets. How could this have happened to me? MEEE!!!!

I felt tricked. Foiled. Humiliated on my own couch! How dare they turn me into a focus group participant without delivering their reward!

10 minutes later, after I had consoled myself with a fresh bag of Pop Secret, I got a call from what my phone said was coming from a Hollywood, FL. (Is that not the saddest imagery EVER for a city? I need that t-shirt ASAP.)

I answered.

“Hello?” I said in my normal, casual tone of inquiry.

No answer. Maybe they didn’t hear me, I thought.

“Hello??” I said, this time louder and with a bit more gumption.

Still no answer. Am I being fooled here? AGAIN? On my own couch, for the second time in one day? How much more of this can I take?

I hung up the dead line and sighed heavily. I guess I’m not winning any vacation today. But on the bright side there’s always tomorrow. And every day after that until I win a goddamn free vacation on the internet or via phone scam. I’ll keep you posted.

The nostalgia of chain restaurants

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

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I’m not afraid to say it: I enjoy the occasional trip to a chain restaurant. The guarantee that the food will be mediocre and really salty is sort of enchanting. Like a fairy calling your name from the suburban woods, telling you to come home because Grandpa’s sick and your colon hasn’t been blasted by shoddy food in a while.

Growing up in the Midwest, I took a lot of road trips. A move from Kansas to Minnesota when I was 10 meant that we were haulin’ it every summer and holiday to go home to Kansas to see friends and family.

When you’re in the car for 8-10 hours in one day with your nuclear family, staring at majestic corn fields, smelling luscious dad farts and spitefully snacking on the healthy nut mix your loving mom packed while suppressing a Preteen cry for Cheetos, there’s no room for debate about which quaint Midwest country restaurant you and yours will dine at during your trip. You need dependable food and a familiar menu before anyone has a hunger meltdown in your prestigious Dodge Caravan.

As was normal on many road trips down I-35, my parents awoke me from the third nap of the day at 12:30pm, which meant it was time to start hunting for the highway “FOOD” signs.

The way it worked was if you’ve never heard of the restaurant before, we’re not going there. Oh, no commercial on national television? In your dreams, Shane’s Rib Shack. Take a hike, Grandma’s Kitchen. Nice try, Lou’s Food Emporium. 

Back in 1998 when I was 10, there was no internet in your hand and on-the-go. Taking a risk on a lesser known restaurant was not something any travel fatigued family wanted to do. Stopping to eat takes up valuable road time and you mustn’t take chances on unknown places. What if their decaf coffee is terrible, sending mother into a tailspin worse than you letting your Gigapet starve to death? What if they don’t have chicken strips? You simply can’t take risks like that when you’re travelling with anyone. The fallout would be unbearable in such close farting quarters.

Luckily, all the Chili’s, Applebees and Pizza Huts were conveniently located next to the highway so we only had to argue over which chain to eat at, significantly lowering the number of “I’M NOT EATING THERE!!!” screams from my preteen big mouth.

Chilis-Compassion-Pocket-Friendly-Prices-And-Great-Food-RestaurantMealPrices

The dependable chain restaurant food was just that: dependable. The chicken strips were gorgeous, the Heinz ketchup was perfectly room temperature, and the Pepsi on tap was always a disappointment. It was heaven. Plus, where else are you gonna get a plate with cheeseburgers, criminally delicious SOUTHWEST ROLLS, and the mythically “loaded” potato skin boats all in one place? It’s the definition of heaven on a plate. The menu at any one of these fine chain restaurants is the definition of mediocre innovation–but that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful.

Now that I’m older and live in a big city, of course I have better taste, I’m not a total jerk. But once in a while, something greater than me pulls my body out to the suburbs like an alien magnate, where I find myself alone and uncontrollably smiling inside of a Chili’s. Yes Amanda, I AM just a party of one. Perhaps it’s because it reminds me of being young, or maybe it’s because you can’t get good chicken strips at nice restaurants. Whatever the case, chain restaurants will without a doubt always hold a beautiful mini-chimichanga space in my heart.

Serene Supreme polaroid photo shoot with DENNIS

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
DENNIS by Serene Supreme
DENNIS by Serene Supreme

If you follow the Minneapolis music scene, you’ve probably seen Polaroid pics of shows and parties shot by Serene Supreme. She’s the IT girl photographer of the music scene and she’s amazing. She shot Sarah and I last weekend for our music project DENNIS. Check out the post here and take a look around her website because she has some really cool shots of a ton of talented artists.

We wanted to include the t-shirts and sweatshirts that I hand paint with glitter on my bedroom floor and sell on our website. They started out as theme shirts for our last album “Don’t Fall in Love,” but the fun just didn’t stop. We kept creating more beyond the original “YUCK” shirts and went on to make “BARF,” “WORST,” and a new one “U.F. FAUX.” Take a look at our website here and see if any fit your fly ass style.

Katie (ME!) by Serene Supreme
Katie (ME!) by Serene Supreme

Joan Didion for Celine is PERFECTION

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Joan Didion for Celine
Joan Didion for Celine

I have always been a champion of fashionable ladies in their late years. Because why the fuck not! You can be anything you want for as long as you want. Celine, you rock for hiring Joan Didion, acclaimed author and all-around-badass lady, for your new campaign. Such a winner. I love it so, so, so much.

Not only does she look amazing, but this campaign might just inspire a whole new generation of kids to pick up one of her books. Check them out on Amazon and see if anything sounds good. I know I will be.

What do you think? Tell me your opinion below.

P.S. It reminds me of a fabulous documentary called “Advanced Style,” based on the blog about seriously stylish and vibrant old ladies in NYC. Take a look at the trailer and watch it on Netflix if it’s still there. It inspired me even more to dress however I please. Go with your style pulse. Definitely worth it.

A Nickelodeon Slime cocktail

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

photo

I invented an amazing cocktail just this evening inspired by 90s pop/soda/sody pop.

My roommate ordered a case of Surge off of Amazon, because apparently they sell Surge again now (sooo future). He bought them to give to coworkers as a nice and cool thing to do for the holidays. But we totally ripped into them the second they landed on our doorstep because how could you not? Nobody remembers what the fuck Surge tasted like. Just some blur of a neon, Secret World of Alex Mack, piss-colored 90s children’s soda.

This cocktail I made is inspired by everything Surge makes you think about and feel. Chemical spills, Nickelodeon and peeing your pants in front of your crush – and liking it – on a school field trip in kindergarten.

Photo from CNN
Photo from CNN

Ingredients:

Surge

vodka

3 ice cubes

1 orange

1 lowball glass

1 knife or whatever people use to peel stuff for cocktails

Put the ice in a glass. Pour your beloved amount of vodka. Pour your beloved Surge in the glass until it turns… pretty green. Take the orange and peel off a strip of orange rind. Place it in the drink wherever you think it fits.

ENJOY.

The Voice is a bullshit vehicle for stars with dead careers

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
image from an episode of 30 Rock
Image via an episode of 30 Rock

I do not watch shows like The Voice or American Idol. I think they are lame. I’m all for entertainment and shit, capitalism is whatever, but the false hope that these shows instill in the thousands of forgettable people who are featured season after season makes me sick.

It’s true that SOME people have come out of singing competitions like American Idol with a successful singing career. Kelly Clarkson had a good run. That bald guy from American Idol is doing okay I guess. Clay Aiken was on an episode of 30 Rock once. Out of the 13 seasons of American Idol, Carrie Underwood is by far the most successful. But that’s 13 seasons and only 4 people that are only kinda-maybe culturally relevant today.

As for “The Voice”, I can’t even tell you one person who has had mainstream success. That’s because it’s a pretty transparent vehicle to launch the stagnant careers of its already famous, millionaire coaches.

Exhibit A: Gwen Stefani’s new single “Baby Don’t Lie”

As you may or may not know, Gwen Stefani is a coach on the current season of “The Voice.” Which is weird, right? Because she hasn’t been relevant in the music industry since her solo albums in the mid 2000s. Sure, No Doubt tried to come back in 2012 with their album “Push and Shove” but it didn’t really land anywhere mainstream.

But wait! Today (October 27) she just released a new solo single called “Baby Don’t Lie,” while she is currently serving as a coach on “The Voice.” What a coincidence. Where does she find the time?! I mean, when’s a better time to try and restart your music career than when you’ve been hired to “coach” a “singing competition” on network television?

Exhibit B: Rotating judges on “The Voice” and subsequent releases

Christina Aguilera? Dead career. Usher? Pretty sure dead career, but maybe I’m just not aware of his phantom hits somewhere. Cee Lo Green? “Fuck You” was cool 4 years ago. Shakira? Released a song with Rihanna called “Can’t Remember to Forget You” in between her season 4 and season 6 coaching duties.

Don’t even get me started on Maroon 5. (PLZ for the love of god stop howling at the moon on the radio) I don’t even know what a Blake Shelton is so I won’t go there.

In addition to using the show to promote their own music careers, the fact that the coaches actually perform on “The Voice” chaps me to the core of my chapable human parts. It’s not about you, famous people. JESUS. 

Take this video, for example, of Gwen Stefani performing her biggest solo hit ever “Hollaback Girl” on “The Voice.” I love Gwen Stefani, really. But she is not a singer that I would regard as being able to give anyone a whole lot of singing tips. Especially when the song she chooses to perform on the singing competition show is one where she is talk-singing over backing vocals. Which is totally fine, I ain’t no vocal performance snob. But it’s a singing competition show. The point of it is singing well, not getting by with what ya got. That’s called real life.

Exhibit C: The music industry has been wearing sweatpants in its mom’s basement for over a decade

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Look, we all know the music industry struggles everyday to make money. Small artists definitely struggle, and big artists struggle to make millions off of their music, not including the 7 perfumes they launched this year and a fucking clothing line at Kmart.

Blame it on Napster, blame it on people not respecting time-based art, blame it on the rain. Probably blame it on MTV somehow too.

Let’s not be idealistic idiots. Money is fun. These coaching gigs pay a fuckton of money, so I understand why someone would want to be a coach on a huge show like “The Voice.” They not only get a sick paycheck but they also get to promote their brand. Neat. But taking advantage of these idiot nobody singers (I say with love!) trying to make it big in a show that will never make them big is fucking rude.

Let’s get real: most of these nobody singers are not going to have a singing career after their stints on “The Voice.” They are used as props to fuel viewer engagement and promote the artists telling them they’re “great” and they “love what ur doing” and “ur gonna b a star.” As sickly entertaining as it is to watch people’s dreams get crushed on shows like these, can’t we find another way to promote music on primetime TV that doesn’t involve monetizing false hope in the hearts of starving singers?

COMMENT BELOW and tell me what you think.

Dream shoes: Jeffrey Campbell will murder ur life in these platforms

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

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Yeah these are pretty weird which means they are cool as fuck. It’s good to wear weird shit though because weird shit starts conversations and makes you feel like a billion pennies. PLUS, these platforms by shoe god Jeffrey Campbell come with a secret door where you can hide candy, weed cigarettes or your business card when you’re out on the town and trying to spread your game.

P.S. I don’t know what kind of actual psycho would stuff them with confetti instead of snacks. Total freaks, that’s who.

Jeffrey Campbell Jadis-Door Platforms, $255

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